As you may guess, last month I did not get my BFP. It was disappointing, but I did not allow it to crush me and bring me into a state of mild depression. I decided to focus on the things that it meant I could do this month instead of focusing on the fact that it meant I was not pregnant. This month that included being able to get my new tattoo and to start a more intense fitness regime to whip my body into better shape before spring (and before I get pregnant).
I have always been fairly fit. I run, do yoga, or weight training a few times a week.But after I hit that magical age of 30 I noticed it was getting really tough to actually stay in shape and keep the weight off. Holy moly! I have upped my runs on the treadmill since it is way too cold for my lungs to be running outside and also started going to classes a few days a week at a more specialized gym. The classes they offer are much more intense and really challenge my muscles. Plus, they play awesome music and the workout changes every single class. It is exactly what I need to get and stay motivated. I was doing so well, but had to take a short hiatus because of my new tattoo. Because of its location I couldn’t wear a bra at all for a few days and I especially couldn’t have a sports bra rubbing on it as I was jumping up and down.
On to my tattoo! To the right is a picture of it right after it was done so it probably looks red along the edges.
The tattoo of the tree is very symbolic to me of our TTC journey. To me, a tree symbolizes unwavering strength. From season to season, through rain, snow, heat, and cold it perseveres. That is how I see myself on this long journey of trying to start a family. I may be a bit more battered now than I was when we started, but I am wiser, stronger, and have found the strength to continue on. In the future, I will add birds perched in the tree for each child we are blessed with and flying birds to the top of the tree for each of the losses that we have experienced. The tattoo came out beautifully and each day as I wash and moisturize it I am reminded that I am strong and I will persevere. Recurrent pregnancy loss is just the season we are in right now and although this season of our lives has been long and very hard, it will not be here forever. RPL will, however, forever be a part of my story. When we are blessed with a healthy pregnancy and baby in the future, this tattoo will also serve as a reminder of our journey and the impact it has had on the woman I have become.
Today is CD17 and I am still waiting on my positive OPK. The last two cycles I was spoiled with CD15 Ovulation days and had expected something similar this month, but no such luck. All signs (cervix position, opening, and mucus) indicate that it should be happening aaaaaaany day now. We’re still trying the approach of not having my husband know when I am ovulating and so far it has been going fairly well. I tried to get in a few more chances this month, but since I was expecting a similar cycle as last month, it is fair to assume those extra sessions didn’t really matter. I have a feeling my husband is quite aware what time of the month it is right now and is just going along with my advances, which makes it much easier. Hopefully it will only be one or two more tries and we can call it a wrap. Otherwise I am going to need to go out and buy a lot of new lingerie…
All Things Perez 